The Line
Below is an original work of “flash fiction” by GBF 2013 author Tommy Greenwald.
THE LINE
I was waiting at the end of an incredibly long line at my local book festival to meet my favorite author, Ted Hauser, when I felt a tap on my shoulder.
A big man with sunglasses stood over me.
“Come with me, please,” he said.
“I don’t want to come with you,” I complained. “I’m waiting to meet my favorite author, Ted Hauser.”
The sunglasses guy shook his head. “There’s been a report of suspicious activity in this area, by a boy fitting your description. I’m going to need to ask you a few questions.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m not giving up my place in line.”
People started turning around to see what was going on.
“You don’t understand,” I went on. “I’ve been hoping to meet Ted Hauser ever since I read his first book, The Man Who Invented Chocolate French Fries. Have you ever read that book?”
“No,” said Sunglasses Man.
“Well, it’s awesome!”
Sunglasses Man took out a large walkie-talkie and whispered something into it. Then he turned back to me.
“If you don’t come with me voluntarily, I’m going to have to take you by force.”
“Come ON,” I pleaded. “Have you ever read the sequel, The Man Who Invented Cotton Candy Pizza? It’s like the best book ever!”
Sunglasses Man took a deep breath. “I don’t read much,” he said.
“Well,” I said, “that’s your problem. You don’t like to read!” I yelled to the rest of the line. “This guy doesn’t like to read!”
Everyone turned around to look at Sunglasses Man. “Why are you at a book festival if you don’t like to read?” asked a little girl with red pigtails.
“I’m working security,” Sunglasses Man said. “It’s not my job to read. It’s my job to protect the citizens of this country.”
“Thank you,” said the girl with the pigtails. “But reading is nice too.”
“I’m sure it is,” said Sunglasses Man. Then he turned back to me. “Time to go. “And he grabbed my shirt collar.
Well, as soon as people saw that, they got really mad, “Don’t touch that boy, you non-reader!” yelled one man. “Un-hand that student!” yelled another.
Soon, the whole line of people surrounded the big security guard, demanding to know what his problem was, picking on a poor, innocent book-loving child like me.
I took the opportunity to run to the front of the line, where Ted Hauser was sitting and waiting.
“What’s all the commotion?” he asked, when he saw me.
“Wow, you’re Ted Hauser!” I answered.
“Yup,” said Ted.
“You’re awesome,” I told him. “Can you sign my book?”
And he did. Then I went out to the road to wait. Two minutes later, the big guy with the sunglasses walked up.
“Ready to go?” he asked.
“Yup,” I said. “Thanks, Dad. That worked great.”
He took his sunglasses off. “Anything for my favorite reader,” he said.
Then we laughed, and went off to get some cotton-candy pizza.
Tommy Greenwald is the author of the “Charlie Joe Jackson” books, a middle-grade series about the most reluctant reader ever born. It is a projected five-book series based on Tommy’s three sons: Charlie, Joe and Jack. The first book, “Charlie Joe Jackson’s Guide to Not Reading,” was published in July 2011; the second, “Charlie Joe Jackson’s Guide to Extra Credit,” was published in Summer 2012; and the third, “Charlie Joe Jackson’s Guide to Summer Vacation,” will come out in May 2013.